LA Has Made Me A Cynic. Ironic?

I don't really listen to the radio. Sure, I'll listen to Kevin and Bean in the morning from time to time, but after a while, their "Bush is soooo stupid" and "Oh, look, Ralph is doing another witty impression" and their complete lack of any musical spinnage (disc jockey? hello?) gets old. At my internship, I feel like I have to listen to the radio because the silence can be numbing, and I'm afraid to wear headphones in case there is any kind of toner disaster (upon which my headphones would become the sole obstacle preventing me from hearing the cries of the printer-in-distress and saving the day). Tangents aside, we listen to KIIS FM (or for all you folk fortunate enough not to live in the 818, 323, and beyond, the crap station that Ryan Seacrest does the weekly crap forty on, or whatever) to fulfill (term used loosely) any kind of musical needs we may have between clicks of keys. After hearing the same four songs looped over and over and over so many times that I think my brain my turn to mush and/or implode, I decided to finally take a stand against the musical abortion occurring on the Sony DiscPlayer, and change it to the old stand-by, Star 98.7.

I know what you're thinking. Star is the station listened to by wanna-be-cool parents and twenty-six-year-old-male processing clerks desperately searching for the next "cool jam" to chat about with their semi-attractive-female-co-workers while they flaunt their bed-head and burly man-scruff that is so 2005. Star is like VH1 -- it tries to be as cool as MTV, but for whatever reason falls short with their target demographic of tanorexic Laguna Beach partiers and thugged out guys who listen to "I'm going to shoot you between the eyes while you go down on me" rap in their size eighty pants their mom's bought at Macy's. On sale.

I digress. The analogy I have made (Star : VH1 as KIIS : MTV) brings me to my most valid of points. Who decided that MTV was cool? I mean, okay, secretly watching MTV when you were thirteen and learning everything your parents didn't want you to know about sex is one thing. But I can't bring myself to sit and watch MTV for hours on end like I used to. When I find a pre-Back-To-New-York Real World marathon or an episode of Road Rules (or, I will admit, my latest obsession Making The Band), sure, I'll sit and waste an afternoon. But all of the "reality" on MTV (which, if I remember correctly, does stand for Music Television) is just some self-indulgent crap-o-la exploited as a gateway by slutty contestants to get their paltry fifteen minutes. PS, you are not cool if you make out with a guy you just met if you know your boyfriend is watching. It does not make you bad-ass. MTV used to be about rebellion. Music was supposed to be our way to stick it to the man!

Well, VH1 fortunately provides an ample filler for any void created by the betrayal of mainstream music media vehicles on Generation Y (et tu, MTV?). Okay, it doesn't play music videos either except for waaaay into the wee hours of the morning when we come pouring ourselves into bed (a time, funnily enough, that would be ideal for reality television). However, at least their reality television doesn't take itself seriously. Reality television isn't entertainment. I could go outside and get the same effect. Okay, maybe there wouldn't be as many people mugging for the camera, but at least there wouldn't be any commercials. What makes VH1 reality entertaining is their ability to make fun of reality television. What would a world be like without Flavor of Love? My Sundays wouldn't be complete without watching Flava Flave manage sloppily makeout with a fabulously ghetto booty without his two-foot Movado hanging from his neck distracting him. If that's not magic, I'm not sure what is.

I'm not quite sure what spurred on this sudden urge to shake my fist at the folks at MTV. Maybe I've seen the video for Boulevard of Broken Dreams one too many times (why, Green Day, WHY!?). Maybe I've heard that piece of shit Panic! At the Disco song so many times I want to cry. Or, maybe I just like the fact that Star can always brighten my day with a little Blind Melon or Gin Blossoms action (the finest of nineties rock).

Or, maybe I've just been sulking in my bedroom in LA for too long. I always expected New York to make me a cynic. I think all the sunshine did me in.