little known facts that now you know.

a) I have spent the past week and a half covering for the receptionist at my stepdad's real estate office [truly riveting work, I must say. (actually, it's quite difficult to say goodmorning/afternoonewingandassociatessotheby'sinternationalrealtyhowmayIhelpyou) and when I say "truly riveting" I mean NOT AT ALL RIVETING]. due to this stint of "receiving" (reception?) I have learned the following things:
1) I am perfectly capable of wasting nine hours. not like OH MY GOD THIS FEELS LIKE NINE HOURS I MIGHT DIE OF BOREDOM, but more like HOLY SHIT IT IS ALREADY 6PM I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT TIME FLEW BY.
2) I enjoy sitting.
3) I pack a good lunch.
4) I think I'm boring.

b) the network upfronts were last week. aside from the surprisingly unexpected [namely 1) "pirate masters," a summer reality show about 16 modern day pirates (it has been decided that these people actually need to believe they're pirates a la steve the pirate from dodgeball {and I am only referencing said movie for its applicability in this situation, not out of enjoyment or reverence for that piece of crap} not 16 people who have interest in acting like pirates. these must be deluded, sad people. that's entertainment) vying for a million dollar treasure while living as bucaneers! and 2) "miss/guided," a midseason abc comedy starring judy greer], NEXT SEASON IS GOING TO SUCK. it's like the network execs were like, "hey that show about kids creating a workable society in a 19th century ghost town and a heartwarming lifetime series called "a side of life" (arguably the greatest show title of the millennium) are SURE to crank in the ratings we need to withstand the ever growing popularity of internet streaming and tivo. HOW CAN WE LOSE!? and I can't even begin to put my frustration at the alphabet's stupidity in not picking up "the thick of it." mitch hurwitz. christopher guest. oliver platt. the universe is fucked. there is just not any other explanation.

b 1/2) take that, strunk and white, for my genius and most likely incorrect usage of parentheses in the previous item.

c) gchat is the greatest invention in the history of all time.

d) francesca is working at grove/atlantic this summer reading manuscripts and crushing dreams. due to the magic of item c, she has gifted me with many a genius excerpt from works as diverse as 18th century lesbian fiction to "three feet under," a heartwarming tale of self discovery found in a pet cemetery.

e) moving onto better reading. I just finished the crying of lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon and I am blazing through cat's cradle. I am doing my very best avoid an existential crisis in relation to the meaning of my life and the world constructed around me. is it hopeful that I believe there is meaning in a society built nearly entirely on illusion (like oedipa) or have I failed because I've constructed a reality where none exists (also, like oedipa)? do I find postmodernism to be hopeful because there is no meaning other than that which I have determined for myself, or are we doomed to live in a structureless society without optimism or hope for progress? perplexing indeed as I sit at my desk reading snarky celebrity gossip, movie/book reviews, and ponder the new color scheme for my room.

f) ah yes, redecorating. I bought red sheets. I could probably make a well-timed, sophomoric field of dreams reference that would indicate how sheet-color choice correlates directly with the seductive lure of my bed, but I am above all those things ... I am nearly above all those things. I am also seriously seriously considering a black shag rug, and no, I am not quagmire. I like the feeling of a shag rug on my toesies.

g) I saw the mikado with caroleather englander last saturday. (we of course found every way possible to direct our conversation to 113 in hopes of reliving moments that occurred only weeks before.) after seeing this light, gilbert/sullivan opera, I wondered: HEY WHERE DID THE FOURTH WALL GO!?!? did I miss this memo that any theatre produced in the last five years needed to be actively conscious of the fact that it is art and not reality? and not even in clever ways (ie, retrieving a prop from the orchestra pit and tipping your hat at the conductor does not a meta-moment make. oh, you're defying the laws of the medium by crossing the boundary between the actual and the theatrical by literally crossing the threshold of the stage? well, sir, my mind has been blown. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S REAL ANYMORE). on a less cynical note, the costumes were out of control. I'm pretty sure the budget was a bajillion dollars.

h) I am coming back to new york on saturday. these are good things.

i) best for last: dinosaur comics. after being introduced to this mighty genius, I proceeded to read a couple hundred over the next few hours.